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with Relationship Speaker/Author/Coach...
Larry James


The "Letting Go" Ceremony

Officiant's Welcome and Opening Remarks

Welcome, one and all. How beautiful is the day that is touched by love! We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the the separation of this man and this woman who have been bonded in the covenant of marriage. The courts have acknowledged their divorce and we, this day, gather to support them as they give their blessing to one another as they each seek a new life.

In creation, God made the cycle of life to be birth, life, and death. We recognize that relationships often follow this pattern. While the couple have promised in good faith to love until parted by death, in some marriages the love between a wife and a husband comes to an end sooner. Love fades, and when that happens we recognize that the bonds of marriage, based on love, also may be complete.

It is wise to remember that relationships never end. Death, divorce or separation does not end a relationship, it only changes it. As long as you both have memory, you will always have a relationship with one another. We are gathered together today to mutually accept the change that is occuring now.

God (or Love) calls us to right relationships based on love, compassion, understanding, acceptance, and trust. Whenever any of these elements is absent from a marital relationship, then that partnership no long reflects the intentionality of the wedding vows.

The good news is that we are forgiven our failures, we are raised from the dead (so to speak) and restored to a new life. The passing of love, like the passing to the grave, has no power to rob us of the life that is intended for all people.

Thus we gather this day to support and bless ________ and ________ as they acknowledge their mistakes, forgive one another, receive God's blessing, celebrate the new growth that has occurred in each of them, and make new commitments for a new life.

The Declaration of Consent

Officiant to the Man: ________, do you enter into this new beginning of your own free will; do you acknowledge (before God), and ________, your past mistakes? Do you seek forgiveness for the mutual respect and trust that you have failed to give and agree to set your spouse free of this relationship, that you and she may receive (from God and) from one another the gift of new life and move toward health and wholeness once again?

Man: I do.

Officiant to the Woman: ________, do you enter into this new beginning of your own free will; do you acknowledge (before God), and ________, your past mistakes? Do you seek forgiveness for the mutual respect and trust that you have failed to give and agree to set your spouse free of this relationship, that you and he may receive (from God and) from one another the gift of new life and move toward health and wholeness once again?

Woman: I do.

The Undoing of the Vows

(The man faces the woman, takes her right hand, and says):

In the name of God (or Love), I, ________, release you, ________, from your vow to be my wife. I thank you for the love and support you have given me. I ask your forgiveness for my part in the failure of our marriage.

Woman: You are forgiven.

(The woman faces the man, takes his right hand, and says):

In the name of God (or Love), I, ________, release you, ________, from your vow to be my husband. I thank you for the love and support you have given me. I ask your forgiveness for my part in the failure of our marriage.

Man: You are forgiven.

(The Officiant asks each in turn to place their rings on the same finger of the opposite hand):

Minister: ________ and ________, These rings, which you gave to each other as a symbol of your marriage are now cast aside and by removing them from your left hand now sets you free. I pray you will both find peace and joy in your new life separate and apart from each other. And so it is.

Note: In some cases each partner will choose to give the rings back to the other, in which case this symbolic gesture will also release each from their marriage vows and the Officiant's words would reflect this.

Forgiveness is an absolute necessity for each partner to be able to celebrate the passing of their relationship by virtue of this ceremony. Read: Forgiveness. . . What's It For?

Copyright © - Larry James. All rights reserved.

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