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Larry James is a contributing writer for Arizona's Finest Wedding Sites & Services
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A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible, and I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
He never heard the gunshot.
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, her entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said , "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car!"
Never let your Mother-in-Law make the wedding announcement:
A husband asks his wife, "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"
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