Celebrate Intimate Weddings

with Relationship Speaker/Author/Coach...
Larry James

An edited version of "Grooming the Groom: Staying on Track for the Big Day!" by Larry James was featured in the September/October 2007 issue of The Wedding Chronicle. Larry James was a contributing author to The Wedding Chronicle.

Alright, guys! Listen up!

When I talk to Brides in pre-wedding interviews, I heard women who seem overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for all of the details it takes to have a memorable wedding. It's not just "her" wedding. It's your wedding too! She needs your assistance! So. . . listen carefully.

You need to take an active interest in your wedding. Pitch in. Find out what you can do to help and don't let your sweetheart bear all the responsibility. Put her on a pedestal. Let her be the center of attention. She deserves it. Never let her hear you say, "It doesn't matter to me. Do whatever you want." Your Bride will never fully understand why the wedding isn't as big a deal to you as it is to her. Don't bother trying to explain. This is the day to be her Prince Charming!

Roll up your sleeves and get busy. Wedding overload can be a real problem. Divide up jobs in advance - preferably, according to which parts you're most interested in, then agree to run everything past each other before final decisions are made. Make it a joint venture. Attend the meetings with the minister, disc jockey, photographer, etc., as a team. You are in this together, so act like it.

Be romantic. You can do it. Leave a love note in her room on the morning of the wedding. Wake her up to her favorite song. Romantic surprises make the big day memorable. Be her personal chauffeur for a day of wedding errands. (P.S. Never stop being romantic. She will love you for it.) Send her mother flowers with a note telling her how happy you are to be marring her daughter. Take her father to lunch.

Pay attention to the details. Spit-shine your shoes. Gas the car. Several days before the wedding, get a haircut. Preparation is the key. Be ready for anything. No wedding is perfect. Today is the most stressful day of the Bride's life. Roll with the punches and do what you can to keep your pretty lady from being stressed. Leave nothing to chance. Minimize the stress factor when the final countdown begins. Plan to do nothing the day of your wedding but get up, relax, have a light snack, then head to the venue to tie the knot.

It is the Groom's responsibility to pay for the Bride's bouquet. However, at the end of the evening the tradition is for her to throw it to the single women at the reception. A lovely touch might be to surprise her with another bouquet as your new wife in the honeymoon suite.

Don't wait until the week before your wedding to figure out what you're going to wear. Short notice doesn't work. Your formal wear should be purchased or reserved about 3 months before the wedding. Make sure you have decided beforehand if you will rent or purchase a suit and also find out which style will suit you best. Your formal wear should be purchased or reserved about 3 months before the wedding.

Send a detailed e-mail to your Groomsmen filling them in on the relevant details about the formal wear. Let them know when and where (include a map) to get fitted for their tuxes. Remind them to return the tuxes the day after the wedding to avoid annoying late fees. Keep your sweetheart in the e-mail loop to let her know that you've got everything under control.

It's you and your family's responsibility to organize the "Rehearsal Dinner." Plan it carefully. Consult the Bride. Make room for a few surprises for the Bride. Plan ahead. Have flowers delivered to the restaurant prior to the dinner and have the waitress bring them out with a special "romantic" card for the Bride that you have signed and a couple of drinks for a toast. Choose your words carefully.

Be a buffer. If your mother is calling your fiancé every hour to talk about the wedding, you run the risk of major family conflict with you stuck in the middle. Your mission is to keep the peace. Call your mother and let her know that while you appreciate her interest, input and excitement, it's your wedding and she needs to give you two some space.

The Best Man is a reflection of your judgment, your background and your character. Decide who is going to be your best man quickly, tell him what is expected and make sure he can honor his commitment. Make sure that you tell anyone who might be offended by your choice before word gets round. Make sure he has envelopes ready to present the gratuities to the minister, disc jockey, etc., at the wedding. Tip for superb service responsibly.

You probably paid for the open bar. However that is not a license to get blasted into next week. Tequila shots with your buddies are out. Drink responsibly.

Whatever you do, do not have your stag the night before the wedding. Better yet, skip this rite of passage and earn a few extra points with your Bride. If you must have a stag night, have it the weekend before the wedding and behave yourself.

You will be expected to say a few brief words at the reception. Keep them short and to the point. Say how happy you are to be marrying the "girl of your dreams," say a few "thank yous" and sit down. It doesn't have to long and flowery. Practice. Remember, practice does not make you perfect, it makes you better.

Next. . . live happily ever after!

Copyright © - Larry James. All rights reserved.

Site Map

Articles Menu