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with Relationship Speaker/Author/Coach...
Larry James


Making Love
Larry James

Great sex is an active ingredient in all healthy love relationships. Sex is fun and pleasure is good for us. Making love is surrendering to a higher form of energy than any one love partner can experience alone. Making love is two love partners experiencing their oneness with each other.

When we make love, we are much greater than the sum of our parts. It is spiritual as well as physical. We never forget the spiritual source of our love. Making love is a Divine idea. We never allow making love to become the supreme expression of the absence of God in our lives.

Sex gives us an enormous opportunity to exercise responsibility. I believe that the sexual experience is immeasurably heightened when both love partners feel free to mutually share their likes and dislikes, cares and concerns and honor each other for their choices. It is the ultimate expression of the joy of life; of being together. It is a Divine connection.

My love partner is the consummate lover. She openly discloses her sexuality, free of inhibitions. I also invite my love partner to know me intimately. Making love with one another elevates us to a level of satisfaction for which there are no words.

The highest form of pleasure comes when you give yourself fully with love, creating a mystical ecstasy that allows both love partners to be lost in time and space, if only for a few brief moments.

My love partner and I both know that our individual sexual fulfillment is primarily up to each other, not our love partner. Our lovemaking is a beautiful expression of love at its most Divine level of happiness; a demonstration of reverence for God1s ultimate gift of Love to us as lovers.

Intimate love partners share playfulness. I have a love partner who is playful when we make love. Sexual playfulness is vital for continuing to experience each other as lovers. We both feel free to be ourselves. Ours is a maturing sexual love relationship, and as lovers we discover an even greater source of sexual excitement by revealing our emotional selves and communicating heart-to-heart in our sexual play.

In the passion of making love, my playmate and I communicate a profundity of love that words cannot carry. Being together in this fully present and intimate way opens the channel of communication to allow for full disclosure of emotions and the expression of our innermost desires.

We never allow our lovemaking to be a routine act of fulfilling desire. To do so would invite boredom. Intimate love is an adventure of shared warmth and spontaneity. We have spontaneity in our lovemaking, knowing that spontaneity between lovers must always be balanced with kindness, care, and respect for each other.

We occasionally have our very own private party in the bedroom or anywhere else our imagination takes us that might stimulate and excite us. We allow our imagination and creativity free rein. We do not expect our love relationship to be exciting without making it exciting.

The intimate and trusting atmosphere we create together allows an occasional flirting with mutually acceptable fantasies, a powerful stimulus to sexual pleasure. Anything goes as long as love prevails: touch, tongue, tickle; silk, satin, lace; the kitchen table, the patio in the moonlight, the hot tub or Bennigan1s parking lot.

Making love is an open window of discovery, an exciting adventure of each other, allowing exploration of a depth of passion attainable to only the few.

My love partner and I work together to make our love sanctuary more beautiful and comfortable to enliven and make special our intimacy.

A balance of excitement and quiet pleasures allows a relationship to maximize its potential. My love partner and I have a deep need for the gentleness of a passionate kiss, tenderness, caressing, fondling, and touching each other.

We experience touch as an expression of caring, of comforting and of expressing warm affection. Touching enlivens our lives. It nurtures our love relationship. The gift of touch contains within it the miracle of healing and bonding. Touch is a means of connecting emotionally, physically and spiritually. The gentleness of touch communicates, "I love you," and is not always a prelude to passion.

Our physical nakedness reflects our emotional honesty, and our intimate physical embrace denotes our emotional acceptance of each other. Physical intimacy is the goal of our sexual expression. With intimacy comes a deeper level of exposure of one's self, a profound feeling of enrichment of us joining as one and loving acceptance by each other.

Foreplay is often found in the quietness of loving words.

In an atmosphere of safety and trust, we derive much pleasure from giving a full-body massage and receiving one, never neglecting any part of our bodies. The deliberate, slow motion of massage stirs passion and builds desire. It allows us to tune in to our lover1s innermost feelings.

Candlelight, soft music, a glass of wine, fragrant oils, a soft feather, a vibrator or two and more are all a sacred part of this Divine ritual. We use our imagination and enjoy one another. We savor the magic of the moment. Massage is communicating with sensitivity what we find most pleasurable and erotic; it is making love with our fingers.

My lover's body is a temple, the container of my loved one's soul. I honor it. I respect it.

We listen for the sensual sounds our music makes. We know our lover's body like a musician knows his instrument and we play it for all it's worth. We make beautiful music together. She often assists me in writing the score. We take turns leading the orchestra. Our lovemaking is a symphony of supersex. Fully expressing our feelings in this way lessens pressure and anxiety, increases love and deepens trust. We continue to rediscover the things that give us pleasure and bring feelings of closeness.

Sex that is deeply enjoyed is freely given and taken, with deep soul- shaking climaxes, and makes each love partner become humble at the remembrance of joys past and expectant of those yet to be discovered and enjoyed. I am attracted to the majesty of sexual union with my love partner and excited by the promise of its lofty secrets.

I am becoming a master at being passionately intimate with the one I love. Sparks fly! We can feel the sexual electricity in the air when we are together. We tingle when we mingle. Whatever my lover and I find ourselves doing in the flow of making love is right and beautiful.

We share our passion without fear, and with patience, commitment, and trust. This level of emotional sharing generates a limitless flow of sexual energy. I seek not just sensory gratification but Divine union with my lover.

My love partner is someone who shares my desire to devour life for the romantic adventures that make life delicious.

•    •    •

Copyright © - Larry James. Adapted from the book, "How to Really Love the One You're With."

  If you would like to talk one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a private coaching session by telephone. Go to Personal Relationship Coaching for specific details.

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